Do you sometimes feel like doormat? Are you “too nice?”
Some people take the phrase ‘’nice guys finish last’ to heart, but the Dalai Lama once said that we should be kind whenever possible (and it’s always possible). There is absolutely nothing wrong with being human. It enables you to sleep with a clear conscience and if you believe in karma, what goes around will eventually come around.
However, if you often allow people to take you for granted, then it’s time to re-evaluate yourself.
Here’s 8 ways on how to stop letting people walk all over you and being taken advantage of.
1. Value yourself more
This is the most important step of all. If you have a low sense of self-worth, you will tend to blindly tolerate anything that comes your way. Don’t confuse it with patience or loyalty. Love yourself to the point where you are able to reject anything or anyone unworthy of your time, energy and attention.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others
Constant comparison will only lower your self-esteem. It’s like a disease that will end up making you feel inadequate. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Just be more grateful for what you have and be proud of your own accomplishments, no matter how small you think they are.
3. Know what you want
What are your values? What do you look for in a partner? Be clear about what you really want. The more specific, the better. Being clueless will not help you tell the difference between what’s good and what’s bad for you. Once you accomplish this step, it will be easier for you to make smarter choices that would benefit you in the long run.
4. Learn the art of saying ‘no’
Sometimes, you just have to put your foot down. Don’t be a people-pleaser. The world will not end if you don’t work late every single day. You don’t have to force yourself to help others when you can’t afford it. Whatever it is that makes you feel uncomfortable, just say ‘no’ and you will thank yourself later.
5. Don’t ever settle for less than you deserve
Whether it’s work or a relationship, never settle. You deserve to be treated with respect and you have the right to be happy. Don’t let your fears get the best of you. Losing something unworthy is better than suffering. Choose what’s best for you, not others.
6. Be selfish
Put yourself first once in a while and do the things that make you smile. Listen to your favourite songs. Read a good book. Travel. You can’t spend your entire life worrying about other people. You need to take care of your own needs too.
7. Stop caring about what people think
Your happiness is a lot more valuable. Stay true to yourself and what you believe in. You don’t need anyone’s approval to be who you are or want to be. It doesn’t matter if others can’t relate to your point of view. Don’t let people alter your goals, needs and desires.
8. Speak up
Be honest about how you feel. If your workload is taking a toll on you, tell your boss about it. If someone you’re dating did something that upset you, be open about it. Keeping things bottled up will only make things worse. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind.
Becoming the best version of yourself is not impossible. You just need to find the courage to stand up for yourself because if you don’t, then who will?
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” – Lao-Tzu