It’s necessary for us to be selfish once in a while. It’s not about taking people for granted or intentionally hurting anyone, but it’s more about listening to our own needs. Sometimes we put what we love aside to please others or ignore the alarm bells ringing in our head because we are afraid of losing someone. As it gets deeper and deeper, we end up losing ourselves, our self-worth, and our purpose in life. To avoid becoming an empty vessel, we need to put ourselves first. Here’s how to be selfish the right way:
1) Being selfish at work
Yes, work is important. We not only need it to survive, but life would also be quite dull without challenges. However, it shouldn’t be the most important thing in our world because there is more to life than emails, meetings, and deadlines. Don’t make working late a habit. Take a break when you need to. Go out for lunch. If you have a lot on your plate, learn to ask for help, say ‘no,’ or give a timeline that you’re comfortable with. Don’t let people take advantage of you. Make use of your annual leave, go on vacations and leave your work behind.
2) Being selfish in a relationship
Never give up on your dreams just because your partner cannot understand it or thinks your interests are silly. No matter how much you love someone, avoid giving too much if you only get a little in return. Make time for yourself, family and friends. Have a life outside of the relationship. Put your foot down if you’re not being treated fairly and don’t be afraid to point out your partner’s bad behaviours.
3) Being selfish with family
When your loved ones know that they can depend on you, they tend to expect you to always be there and tend to take you for granted. Make sure they understand that you have a life of your own too. If they keep asking for financial help without making any effort even though they’re capable, put an end to it. Not because you don’t care, but because they need to realise that nothing comes easy in life. If your family members don’t support your dreams, stop trying to explain yourself. Go after what makes you happy and create your own path.
4) Being selfish with your time
You need some space from time to time. Not just to recharge but to also do the things that make you happy. Make it a point to have some ‘me time’ no matter how busy life gets. It’s okay to decline invitations if you feel like staying at home. It’s not wrong to catch up with your friends or pamper yourself and let your husband take care of the kids once in a while. When you’re happy, the people around you will feel happy too. You can’t always live for other people. Don’t sacrifice all of your time for others. You deserve a break.