“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it” – Mark Twain
Sometimes, you try hard to forgive but you just cannot find it within you. You rationalize and decide not to forgive, but that seems hard to do too. No matter what, there appears to be no way to move on. Here, I am convincing you to forgive because I believe that forgiveness is more than just an act and here are 4 reasons why you should learn to forgive others.
Forgiveness is a symbol of strength
Mahatma Gandhi once said “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong”. Forgiveness is a symbol of strength because it involves acknowledging the hurt you have experienced, and letting it go. It is to look at the person that hurt you and to make a conscious effort to not be reminded of his/her mistake. It is to gather all the strength you can find within, to start over new.
These things require a great deal of emotional and mental strength, which is also the reason why some people find it hard to forgive. Your ability to forgive is a display of your strength. However if you cannot forgive, do not worry. You are probably not ready and will be in time to come. Gather your thoughts and try to find reasons to overcome the hurt, if you think it is worth it.
Forgiveness sets you free
Unbeknownst to the naked eye, forgiveness is actually setting yourself free. It is letting go of the resentment, the pain and hurt, as well as the emotions you felt. Think about it. When someone hurt you and you have yet to forgive them (or do not plan to at all), you will find yourself ruminating in thoughts and reliving the hurt you felt each time you think about the person. You are affected at a level even you may not realize. When you forgive, you find peace within.
Forgiveness allows you to heal
Forgiveness does not mean you forget. When you forgive someone, it means you have come to terms with the fact that you were hurt and you are willing to let it go. It does not mean you have forgotten what the person did to you or the hurt has disappeared. If before this, your energy was focused on finding the strength to forgive, upon forgiving, you can start focusing on healing to lick your wounds.
Forgiveness clears the path
Forgiveness it the first step to moving on. You know you chose to preserve the relationship instead of discarding it. You are now in the process of healing. You have acknowledged the feelings that you have been harboring within. Now it is time to move on. Your path is clear and you can go back to living life without being constantly reminded of the hurt and the person that hurt you at the back of your head.
Ultimately, forgiving is for yourself more than the person that hurt you. “Because forgiveness is like this: a room can be dank because you have closed the windows, you’ve closed the curtains. But the sun is shining outside, and the air is fresh outside. In order to get that fresh air, you have to get up and open the window and draw the curtains apart”. – Desmond Tutu
Kiirtaara is a proud 24 year old Malaysian from the small town of Ipoh. She is a Bachelor of Psychology (Hons) graduate and is currently a part-time freelance writer with a full time job. She is also a huge mental-health enthusiast and avid animal lover.